The Iceberg

There comes a moment – sometimes – when our emotions take over and we seem to lose control. Is this good? It is normal, because emotions are bigger than what our logic wants us to believe. They live within us all – nestling in our unconscious. Sometimes we only tap into a small part – the tip – but deep inside we know there is a whole iceberg.

And so, there comes a different moment for each one of us, in different situations, in specific context where emotions cannot remain silent any more. You see, sometimes we think we can be patient or suppress our feelings forever. Think again. That is when we turn our back to our very own inner voice that keeps us safe and cares the most about us.

This is the moment to ask ourselves:

What is it about us that we do not want to admit or work on?

Who do we constantly wrongly take our emotions on instead?

Who do we demand that carries our load?

Who do we expect to resolve our problems on our behalf?

Letting sadness, anger, fear out in the light regularly, expressing them in a friendlier, softer and more responsible way empties the vessel before it sinks into anxiety or depression, exhaustion or rage, self-destruction or violence. Making it a habit to address these unresolved conflicts inside us is a helpful strategy to keep us away from a powerless life surrounded by bad habits, drama and regrets. We empty the glass. Timely. And move further away from that little drop which makes us lose our balance and suffer.

And if by any chance we do reach that moment where the glass is really full and we have that unforeseen outburst, seeming to come out of nowhere, say and do things we wished we had not, behave in ways far from the ideal picture we have of ourselves and our character, well…let us accept it, too.

A minute, a day, a week later, when we finally recover from that uncontrollable force, we still have a choice and this is to recognize the behavior based on excuses and self-pity and say three magic words to the innocent people we tried to force and dominate, including ourselves.

I am sorry.

It takes a simple and genuine I am sorry to make things better and start regaining trust. If only all parents and teachers understood that, we would make a giant step towards a more self-confident and forgiving world.