In Search of Time

A day with more hours and a week with more days? Would that give the solution to balance family, household, work, friends, sports, studies, hobbies and all the rest? Not quite! After all, weekends and holidays were busy, too! Even though it did appear a constant conspiracy of external circumstances against my time, the truth was that life was busy because I was a busy bee. Something inside me made sure I shifted from one task to another, one appointment to another while barely remembering to breathe every now and then.

And so, despite my attempts to blame external factors, I came to realize that it was all my doing! My inner world manifested a busy life. No matter how long the day was or how much time I had in my hands, everything was planned back to back in every detail to honor the belief: ‘I use my time to the best of my ability.’ And there was an even more profound belief, running since childhood -mostly unconsciously – whispering quite loud that ‘I had to meet everyone’s expectations and needs and foremost those of my parents.’ Take that last belief out of my mind and I could easily lie under an oak tree for a nice big part of the day, quite happy!

And so, another mind journey started exploring beliefs that will make me truly respect my ‘life-time’ and take full responsibility what to do with it. It is mine after all and I am the only one who can decide how to handle it in order to meet my needs and wants. Instead of constantly ‘counting time’, I allowed myself to ‘get lost in the moment’ more often. And what about planning my day with 16 hours instead of 24? Leaving more time to replenish my energy, time to admire a stunning sunset, time to be more creative, hear my own inner voice, realize my own purpose and mission and allow space for wonderful things to happen to me.