Eleni Sarantinou bLU Talks 2019

Harvard Graduate School of Education, Cambridge

I was born in Greece, the home of olives and grapes. I studied Economics and had a successful career in IT before stumbling across Life Coaching and NLP. Today, I’m an NLP trainer, a Life Coach, a wife, a mother, a world traveller. Nothing gives me more joy than sharing what I’ve learnt, and am still learning, with you. Read more

Beliefs of Excellence

Where and when I was raised, lots of people believed that it was cool to ‘work hard and play hard’. I still see this saying in advertising bords and makes me sad. Holding to this belief made me excel at school and at the same time sacrifice sleep and consume massive quantities of alcohol and junk food in my teenage years.

Some of its positive attributes are self-explanatory; quite succesful in many areas with solid strategies to focus and high levels of concentration. On the negative side, I totally disconnected from my body; I neglected its need of moderation and love. I suffered from serious illnesses and lost part of my confidence in my powers and the future. Then, I re-defined ‘cool’ and as a result my life became a whole wide ‘cooler’. I believe it is cool to connect with my body, mind and soul; it is cool to grow spiritually and I will go a long way to protect my body and work on my dreams and ambitions at the same time. This belief has better results for my sense of balance.

Most importantly, ‘what is cool’ is my decision and mine alone.

‘I am not happenned to me, I am what I choose to become’ as Carl Gustav Jung beautifully quotes.

Belief systems define us. They originate from our parents, schools, societies where we have been raised in and other influences mainly during our childhood. These beliefs will be our compass for every decision and judgment we make.

They reside in our very essence and make us react the way we do in different situations. They dictate our thinking process and perception of the world. They are part of our identity.
Some of our beliefs might limit us instead of empowering us. By taking time to analyze them and identify their source, we raise awareness of the power of each belief and we have the choice to keep the ones that work, modify the ones that hinder us and create even more effective ones, our very own beliefs of excellence. And as in all things in life, excellence might be perceived differently for every individual: what we would like to focus on are the beliefs that make our life a pleasant, smooth path to our own truth.
Within NLP is a set of Beliefs of Excellence, or presuppositions for excellence. These Beliefs have evolved through the study of exceptional performance:

The map is not the territory
Map as in our very own idea of the world. We all have a very unique perception of the world and how things work. At no moment in time, are we able to have ALL the information. Our map is even changing ALL the time. There are so many different maps; a single map cannot have all the information in detail of every country, city, street, house, park or shop. As long as we believe that, we maintain healthy balance between our tolerance and curiosity towards other ‘maps’.

Respect other’s maps of the world
While we hold on to our uniqueness, keeping a mind open, accepting and respecting other models of the world, brings us closer together.

The meaning of your communication is in the response and feedback you get
More often than not, we find ourselves saying ‘oh, this is not what I meant, you did not understand what I wanted to say’. When holding to the above belief, we work towards a process to make ourselves ‘understood’ the very first chance when communicating; thus save everyone time and connect in deeper and more meaningful ways.

Resistance is a sign of a lack of rapport
Accepting other models in the world is one of the main ways to remain in rapport; a state of trust and understanding among people. Whenever we feel any kind of internal or external resistance, it signifies a point or more where our acceptance margin is dangerously shrinking.

Mind and Body are part of the same system
Our body is full of wisdom and communicates with us all the time. All we have to do is tune in and listen to its wise messages for our balance in every domain and area of our life.

A person’s behavior is not who they are

We have all been in a situation where we wished we could take back something we said or did. Chances are we will be in similar situations in the future. It is a journey and no matter how noble our character and values are, our behavior does not always follow. Remembering that at all times makes forgiving ourselves and others a much easier process.

Every behavior has a positive intention
We all have a different set of ethics and values but behind all our actions, no matter how hurtful to ourselves or others, inside us lies a higher intention that forces us; we have our own reasons and beliefs that give us the convinction that it will be beneficiary in the short or long run. Such a belief creates a layer of understanding in a deeper level and leads to respect our differences, turn to forgiving and spiritual growth.

The person with the most flexibility will have the most control
Being able to see the world from many different set of eyes expands inside us the choices we have. More choices lead automatically to the one that works best for us.

If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always had

If you would like changes in your life, it makes sense to start doing things differently. Same actions, same results. Different actions, different results.

There is no failure, only feedback
We are continuously faced with changing situations; In order to learn anything new, it takes practice. Practice makes our understanding of tolerance deeper. Growth comes with patience and perseverance. Until we all walked, we had to stumble many times before and this is part of the process. All pioneers in the world, all the great ones had to fall many times before they rise to excellence in what they aimed for.

If it is possible for one person, it is possible for others

The core of modeling; if we analyze the steps someone followed to achieve something and distinguish the exact mental, emotional and behavioural patterns, we are likely to reach the same outcomes.

People have all the resources they need to change
Holding such an invaluable belief, gives us the necessary wings to fly to higher levels regarding our skills, talents, behaviors and connection inside ourselves and with others. Focus on the word ‘internal’; the potentail is all there – according to this belief – and believing it, we make sure we tap into it!

Change Book Cover

The Change Book Series is all about empowerment and collaboration! My chapter with title ‘Sacrifice-less’ came straight from my heart in a flash.
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